


Merle's Game

by anemic_cinema



Category: Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Cockblocking, Crack, Dry Humping, Humor, Loud Sex, M/M, Oral Sex, Smut, reference to Merle's STDs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-21
Updated: 2014-06-21
Packaged: 2018-02-05 14:44:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1822201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anemic_cinema/pseuds/anemic_cinema
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based off a prompt I got via tumblr from the very lovely stickythings. Merle knows that Daryl is with Glenn. While he accepts that (to a degree), he decides to have a little fun with it by cock-blocking them at every opportunity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Merle's Game

**Author's Note:**

> Just a heads up, this fic contains people making fun of Merle's STDs/STIs. It's not nice to do that, but since Merle is literally the worst I figured it would not come off as too jerkish. Also, this is the first time I've written something super cracky so bear that in mind as you read. I hope it plays well, and that you enjoy it stickythings!

Merle Dixon was a racist drug-loving asshole. Everyone in the camp agreed on that, even his brother. The fact that he didn't mind Daryl being gay did little to mitigate his character. However, Merle was also blessed with an astounding lack of self-awareness, so his massive flaws did not bother him in the least. 

He was currently taking bumps of meth to stay up during watch. Every hour or so, he'd dig into his pocket, retrieve the baggie, pour some of the crushed up stuff onto his knuckles, and snort. It helped him stay up in the long hours of the night watch. When the sun began to rise, Merle made sure to tuck the baggie away. He had a feeling the others in the group would object to his way of staying up and aware, the tightasses. Who were they to judge when it kept him up and alert? Shit, the itching alone made it so he stayed awake. 

As soon as Dale emerged from the RV, Merle was off the roof and heading back to his tent. He was wired as fuck, so he'd have to dig out some of the downers he had in his stash to go to sleep. On his way, he crossed paths with Glenn. The young man studiously avoided looking at him. Merle knew that him and Daryl were a thing, despite their efforts to be discreet. He didn't see the kid's appeal, but he made Daryl smile.

Despite that fact, it was a disappointing development. He'd tried to get Shane interested in his brother, but the former deputy had looked at him like he was out of his mind. How the fuck was he supposed to know he was fucking that one little brunette gal? Merle had said he was just looking out for his brother's best interests, but when Daryl had heard of his little stunt he'd almost clocked him in the jaw. 

He found his brother was smiling, sitting by the fire and eating breakfast. Daryl had that “I just got laid” expression on his face, and it annoyed the fuck out of Merle. Love for his little brother only carried so far, and it didn't change the fact that it pissed him off that Daryl was getting laid while he was going without. 

“Wipe that smile off yer goddamn face.” Merle kicked his leg as he went to his tent. Daryl called out something that sounded like an insult, but Merle wasn't listening. Instead he was scheming. 

**

“Are you sure he's gone?” Glenn murmured as Daryl chewed on his neck. As lovely as the older man's teeth felt, the ever present threat of Merle loomed over him every time he came to Daryl's tent.

“Yeah I'm sure.” Daryl grunted as he licked his way up Glenn's neck. Despite the heat, they were tangled up together on his cot. His right hand was currently grabbing at the younger man's pectorals. It was a bit of a fruitless action, as Glenn didn't have much meat there to grab, but it did involve Daryl pulling at his nipples. The younger man squirmed and gasped as Daryl made them go stiff and good-painful. 

The redneck shifted and pulled Glenn closer so their legs crisscrossed. It allowed him to rub up against the younger man's leg, which he did with a smirk. 

“Good dry hump keeps up the spirit.” Daryl said, making Glenn snicker. “It's true. Try it.” He grabbed hold of Glenn's hips and got them moving. The cot swayed and creaked with the motion.

“Not too shabby huh?” Daryl breathed out. He was gonna have to lose the pants soon. He couldn't afford to jizz in them. He only had one other pair and he hated doing laundry. 

“Can we just get naked? Please? I'm sweating like crazy and I wanna feel you all over me.” Glenn grunted out, pushing his leg harder against the redneck's groin. That got Daryl pulling off his shirt, then Glenn's. He was about to do the same with their pants when a voice rang out outside the tent.

“Daryl! Come out here, need yer help skinning squirrels.” 

Daryl looked to the tent flaps. Glenn had never witnessed a murder, but he figured he was about to. 

“BUSY!” Daryl yelled, his voice making it clear that Merle had needed to fuck off about a minute before he'd started speaking.

“C'mon, I need yer help.” Merle was doing his best to sound pathetic. “I gotta get these to Shane or he's gonna get on my ass.”

“Merle, I fuckin' swear to God!” Glenn could only lay there, hoping that Merle would take the hint.

“C'mooon! Help yer brother out.” 

Daryl let out a growling, angry noise. Knowing Merle, he'd stay by the tent until he helped him out. He grabbed his shirt. slipped it back on, and grabbed his knife. “I'm sorry baby, I'll be right back.” He gave Glenn an apologetic look. The younger man nodded, and wondered if he could bolt out of the tent fast enough that Merle wouldn't see him. 

Merle had collected several squirrels from his snares, and was lazily skinning one. “Thanks, you know I can't stand doin' this shit.” Daryl still had murder in his heart and a hard on in his pants, so he didn't answer. Instead he unsheathed his hunting knife and got to work. By the time Merle was finished with the first squirrel, Daryl was close to finishing up his second one. 

“Thanks lil' brother, yer a peach.” He nodded towards Daryl's tent. “You got company or somethin'?”

“Matter a fact I do.” Daryl slit the squirrel's belly, and tossed the guts into the plastic bucket that Merle had set out.

“Is that so? Is it that lil' Chinese cutie?” Merle chuckled.

Daryl glared at him. “He's Korean. And yeah. Also, fuck you.” 

Merle laughed at his brother's anger. When they were done Daryl all but threw the last carcass at him, and stalked off to wash his hands. Since he was gone, Merle decided to have a bit more fun. He stuck his head inside the tent, surprising Glenn and making him yelp.

“Daryl'll be back soon. He had to go git himself pretty for ya.” He winked lasciviously at the terrified younger man, and left to go give the squirrels to Shane. By the time Daryl came back, Glenn had been thoroughly put off from sex for the day. As he watched him walk back to the main camp, the redneck wondered if anyone would care if he strangled Merle in his sleep. Probably not. 

**

“Oh God, you do that so damn good.” Glenn sighed out. Daryl had accosted him in the woods and pressed him up against a tree. Then he'd gone down on his knees. The younger man knew he was trying to make things up to him, considering that their last tete-a-tete had been ruined by Merle. 

Though Glenn wasn't thinking about that anymore. All he cared about was how Daryl was deep-throating him like he was getting paid by the inch. He pulled away with a slight cough. 

“You taste so damn good. Fuck.” He lapped at the head of Glenn's cock, tasting precum at the slit. “Could do this all fuckin' day.” His tongue slid down the side of the younger man's cock and he looked up. Glenn liked eye contact during sex, and Daryl was willing to make the effort for him.

“Kiss me.” Glenn tugged at the kneeling man's shirt and made him rise to his feet. Their lips met in a torrid kiss, with Daryl slowly stroking the younger man's cock as their tongues glided against each other. The snap of a branch behind them made them both freeze. Glenn let out a displeased gasp and Daryl felt his erection wilt in his hand. 

Merle whistled at them. “Cool it off you two, this ain't no lover's lane. Fer all you know I coulda been a walker.” He walked off with a cackle, and Daryl decided that strangulation would be too good for him. Tying him to a tree and leaving him for the walkers sounded much better. 

“I'm sorry hon, I can't.” Glenn pulled away, his brows furrowed and his mouth formed into a sad pout. Daryl kissed him gently. 

“It's ok baby, don't worry 'bout it.” The redneck stroked his cheek. “I'm just gonna have to beat the shit outta my fuckin' brother.”

**

“Oh my God, can we just shoot him already or something?” Andrea threw a log in the fire, making sparks fly up. Glenn had been telling them about Merle's new cock-blocking harassment habit, much to Daryl's consternation. He didn't like anyone knowing their business, but he didn't begrudge Glenn for talking about it. He knew it was getting on his nerves. It was getting to him too. Just earlier that day Merle had interrupted them kissing by laughing and making obscene smooching noises at them. 

“I second that motion.” T-Dog added. “Motherfucker has gotta go. I done told y'all, but no one listened.” He was a touch bitter that it had taken this long for the others to realize how horrible Merle was. From day one he'd been the target of the redneck's nastiness.

“Look, I know he's a dick-” Daryl started but T-Dog stopped him, holding up his hands.

“That's a complete sentence man, no need to go further.” 

“He's my brother.” The redneck sighed. “Look, I agree, he needs to be taught a damn lesson, but come on. And if anyone's gonna kill him it has to be me.” Glenn patted his shoulder. 

“Don't worry hon, we'll get his ass good.” The younger man adjusted his baseball cap. “I have a few ideas.”

**

“Well, well, well, if it ain't my brother's girlfriend.” Merle laughed at his own corny and quite frankly offensive joke, but Glenn just smiled and sat down next to Daryl. 

“I think your brother's jealous.” Glenn said to Daryl. The redneck gave him a crooked smile.

“I'm inclined to agree with ya babydoll. Shit, why else would he be goin' out of his way to sneak a peek at us.”

Merle scoffed. “Don't flatter yerselves.”

The two men ignored him. 

“I'd say he has a weird fetish for it. Am I on the right track Merle?” Glenn looked at him across the fire, sidling up to Daryl and wrapping an arm around his lover's shoulders. “Look, I'm not one to judge, but it's kinda weird since Daryl's your brother, bro.” 

Merle got up with disgust. “Y'all are the pervs. Fuck the both of y'all.” He went into his tent and attempted to slam the tent flaps. They made a flaccid, flapping sound. 

“Told you we could get his goat.” Glenn poked Daryl's side. “Tent?”

“Tent.” Daryl agreed. He wanted to test the load-bearing strength of the cot. They were about to when the nylon panels of the tent collapsed onto them, leaving them both hollering. They heard a braying laugh outside, leaving no doubt as to who had just yet again interrupted them. By the time they crawled out of the tent Merle was long gone and Glenn was furious. 

“I'm gonna kill that son of a bitch!” He snarled as he got himself out of the collapsed tent.

“Me first. Goddamn it!” Daryl looked over the fallen tent. Merle had slipped out the plastic rods that held the fabric upright, and they were nowhere to be found. By the time they managed to get the tent back up, sex was the last thing on their minds. 

**

“Look, it wouldn't kill ya to keep yer options open.” Merle was trying for the umpteenth time to convince Daryl to go with anyone but Glenn.

“Goddamn it Merle, I ain't interested in Shane. I like Glenn and I wanna be with him, fuck.” Daryl sighed, rubbing his brow. It left a trace of grease on his forehead. He'd agreed to help Merle tinker with his motorcycle because he was in the habit of doing whatever his brother asked him to help him with. It was an annoying habit that he wished he didn't possess. He'd tried to ask Merle to quit his little game, but his brother had just diverted the conversation to the subject he wanted to talk about.

“Come the fuck on, he's much better lookin' than that kid. Probably has a bigger dick too.” Merle knew as soon as he'd spoken those words that he'd crossed a line. Daryl gripped the wrench he was holding so hard his knuckles turned white.

“Merle, if you don't quit with the bullshit and the cock-blockin' I will fuckin' put this through yer coked-out skull.” Daryl snarled. 

“Alright, calm down. I was just talkin', no need to get crazy, shit.” Merle shook his head. 

“I ain't kiddin'.” Daryl threw the wrench to the ground. “Cut out the bullshit or else. I'm fuckin' sick of it.” 

Merle rolled his eyes but shut up. 

**

Despite Daryl's warning, Merle's obnoxious nature couldn't be contained. Except now each time he made a comment or interrupted Glenn and Daryl from having a sweet moment, both of the men would either flip him off or yell at him. When Merle interrupted them kissing before Glenn was due to go on watch, Glenn full on lost it. He'd figured making dramatic kissy noises at them would be funny, but this time the younger man picked up a water bottle and threw it full force at him. The cap broke and Merle was left soaked. 

“Hey Merle, see this?” He pointed at Daryl's crotch. “Yeah, that's mine. And that?” He pointed to Daryl's behind, making the redneck go flustered. “Mine too. And he likes it that way, don't you?” Daryl nodded and was about to say it out loud but Glenn interrupted him.” So leave us alone, and go jerk off or something, Christ! God knows no one wants to get with your clap-ridden ass!”

“Goddamn it Daryl, I done told ya not to say anythin' about that!” Merle shouted back before realizing that he shouldn't have. Great, now everyone knew about his possibly antibiotic-resistant gonorrhea. There went his chances of getting laid. 

Amy had been watching the debacle and turned to her sister. “Does that mean he's sterile?” 

“We can only hope.” Andrea answered. “Hey Merle, you got anything else brewing down there? If I had to guess I'd say pubic lice!” 

The others watched and snickered at the redneck's consternation. Merle was tempted to throw hands, but the way Daryl was glaring at him made it clear that if he went for Glenn he'd have to go through him. So he made a smart choice for once in his life, and left them alone. 

“That's what you get.” Andrea yelled at him as he walked away, leaving him fuming and feeling pissy. Not to mention damp. Public humiliation was enough to make him stop his dickish behavior for the moment, but Daryl wasn't satisfied yet. He needed to land one last metaphorical punch for him to feel satisfied.

**

“Oh my God!” 

The sound of his brother's voice woke Merle up with a start. For a second he went to grab his gun, but the words were followed by loud moaning. Loud enough that he could hear them in his tent even though they were coming from Daryl's tent. 

“Jesus fuck.” He took the bag he'd been using as a pillow and tried to cover his ears. He could still hear the sounds of his brother getting plowed. “Goddamn it!” At this rate he wasn't going to be able to get back to sleep. 

Inside Daryl's tent, Glenn had to keep himself from collapsing with laughter onto the other man's back. Each time he thrust into the redneck he would make the most ridiculous pornographic sounds. Daryl was having a hard time keeping a straight face as well.

“I swear you're going to get every walker in a five-mile radius coming all up in here.” Glenn puffed out before kissing the back of Daryl's neck. 

“Good, they can eat Merle.” The older man said before letting out another loud moan. 

“Is it just because of that or am I just that good?” Glenn asked as he ran his hands up Daryl's back and through his short hair. 

“Hmm, yer good, but not that good.” Daryl muffled his laughter in the pillow as Glenn slapped his ass. 

“Asshole.”

“I'm kiddin' baby. Yer the best.” The redneck let out a quiet moan as Glenn changed the angle of his strokes. He took hold of his own cock and started to stroke it. “Best I ever had. No lie. Fuck, that's just right, do it like that.” He breathed out as Glenn continued to give it to him deep and slow. 

“That's better.” Glenn held onto his shoulders and sighed happily as his cock slid in and out of Daryl. “God you feel so good.” Daryl clenched his muscles around him, making him let out a shaky moan. “Hon, if you do that I can't last long.” 

“Then cum already.” Daryl said it loud. “I like it when you do it inside of me.”

When Merle heard that he let out a noise of disgust. He really didn't need to know that fact. 

The younger man grinned. “I love you so much you kinky fucker.” 

“Love you too dumbass. C'mon, give it to me.” Daryl pushed back, bracing himself by gripping onto either side of the cot. “Fuck my ass like you love me.”

“That's easy.” 

Glenn kept the pace slow, but thrust with more force. Daryl's grip on the cot made it shake with each stroke he took, and his moans no longer were loud just for the sake of annoying Merle. Now he was hollering because Glenn was fucking him so good it made him lose it. It made him think of nothing other than how perfect his lover's cock felt and how good it was to be loved by him. 

He only got quiet when the orgasm spilled out of him and onto the sleeping bag. 

Glenn gallantly went to pull out after the tremors of it subsided, but Daryl shook his head.

“I done told ya. I like it when you cum inside of me.” The redneck looked back at him, his cheeks flushed and eyes glazed. “Do it.”

Glenn stroked the older man's back and complied with his request. Despite the condom, Daryl could feel the twitches and the spurts of Glenn's cock. “Feels so good babydoll. Can feel you fillin' me up.” He sighed happily as Glenn pulled out. “Yer the best.”

“So are you. Even though you got a crazy-ass brother.” Glenn cleaned himself up and nudged at the older man to let him lay down. 

In his tent, Merle laid wide awake. The combination of embarrassment and being grossed out at knowing what his brother did with Glenn wasn't going to let him sleep any time soon. 

After that, he quit his little game. The awkwardness of hearing his brother having sex was enough to put him off of it completely. Now he had to suffer through Daryl looking satisfied 24//7 and Glenn looking smug as hell. Whatever, at least they didn't bang where he could hear them anymore.


End file.
